An elderly husband and wife, suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, astonished staffers by escaping from a secure unit in an assisted living facility in Lebanon, Tenn. The husband, a former military man who knew Morse code, deciphered the code to the electronic door lock by listening closely to the sounds it made when employees used it. They were found wandering along a nearby road.
YOU SHOULD HAVE ROBBED US IN THE AFTERNOON: After taking the money from the cash register at a McDonald’s in Bristol, England, a robber demanded to be given some chicken nuggets before he fled. He had to settle for a sausage McMuffin as the restaurant was still only serving breakfast.
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE’S BEEN ACCEPTED TO HOGWARTS: An owl dropped down the chimney of a home in Southport, England, knocked over a vase, and went to sleep on the fireplace mantel. Animal rescue workers came and released the bird, but two days later it came down the chimney again, and went to sleep on the mantel once more.
BUT CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M A TEAM PLAYER!? Radio station WIL (92.3 FM) in St. Louis fired one of its country music disc jockeys despite the fact that he had the station’s logo tattooed on his arm less than a week earlier.
QUICK, GET POPCORN, LOTS AND LOTS OF POPCORN! A massive fire engulfed a dairy warehouse complex and sent 10 to 15 million pounds of melted government surplus butter, flowing like a burning river through the streets of Madison, Wisc. The butter had been piled six stories high inside one of the buildings.
OK OFFICER, YOU CAN STOP LAUGHING: A terrified woman called the police as she hid in her bathroom to report “an intruder” in her Natomas, Calif., home at 1 o’clock in the morning. She said she awoke when she heard, “someone walking down my stairs, so it’s like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.” The cops came and broke down her door only to find that it was her robot vacuum cleaner, which her son had set on a timer.
THIS KID REALLY NEEDS A NICKNAME: In an effort to incorporate parts of the names of several relatives into a newborn baby’s name, a couple in the Philippines named him Glhynnyl Hylhyr Yzzyghyl M. Buscato.
YOU PUNKS AREN’T SO BRAVE NOW: A gang of thugs in a van pulled up to a gas station in Chile, and attempted to rob a man who was filling his tank. He responded by spraying gasoline all over them and soaking the inside of their vehicle causing them to flee in terror.
WHEN TRANSPORTING DRUGS, OBEY ALL TRAFFIC LAWS: A man was arrested in Pennsylvania with about 150 pounds of cocaine — worth about $2.5 million — in his car. A state police trooper pulled the guy over on Interstate 78 in Lehigh County, because he was driving for a mile in the left lane but with no vehicles to pass in the right lane. Plus, he was going 65 mph in a 55 mph zone.